GuateJenniMalaFer: UPDATE: Vicente Fernandez

My lovely friend Hanna clued me in to who the very emotional mariachi singer is. She emailed me and said, "That mariachi singer, was it Vicente Fernandez?" Oh heck yeah it was! Hanna said it's the kind of music you listen to when you want to get really, really drunk. That explains the behavior -- and the amount of booze consumed -- the other night at karaoke. Hey, you learn something new every day, right?

So! For those of you looking for a new drinking buddy, please allow me to introduce you to Mr. Vicente Fernandez. Here's just a light sprinkling of his extensive works. Don't know the words? Don't worry -- they are "watermelon, watermelon, watermelon..."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tPg2hpOBSmw&feature=related

I hope you have kleenex nearby because this is an emotional tear-jerker. You know when ET dies at the end of the movie? Well this is even WORSE. This man is in PAIN. There is longing in his voice. In his eyes. In his sombrero...

Ok, and there's also a story going on here, but we (the viewers) have no idea what happened before Vicente jumped up on stage or why everyone looks uncomfortable and is shooting furtive glances at each other. Check out his UBER-expressive eyebrows! Those massive, weepy eyebrows should have their own zip code. I can feel his pain just looking at those eyebrows, can't you? They are an eyebrow waxer's biggest nightmare. And watch the lady in the green dress -- you can tell she wants to throw her undies on stage. By the end of the song she's doing everything in her power to stay seated.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YGbiWnoWTto&feature=channel

Vicente is really workin' those pants -- he's saying, "Hola! Check out my tight buns." And I really like the snazzy metal bulls butting heads on his jacket. Ole!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mHL6rpmxQRg&NR=1

First, I wish I could roll my "rrrr's" like he does. I would rrrrreally like to sound that rrrrromantic in converrrrrsation. Second, you should be careful what you wish for when you throw a penny in a wishing well -- you might end up with a singing Vicente who bursts into song as you're trying to sleep. Third, I really think this style of moustache (let's just call it The Vicente) could make a comeback. Fourth, I think Vicente and his well-oiled moustache were going hunting after this, which explains why he's wearing a day-glo orange ensemble. And damn if that video doesn't end JUST as it's getting good! "Vicente says, 'Bueno muchachos' and the mariachi band exits stage left... The woman at the balcony says she likes his song. Vicente looks excited, throws off his poncho -- revealing his stocky, muscular build -- he wipes his mouth (was he aiming for his moustache and missed?) and then..." IT ENDS. Damn!

And if that wasn't enough Vicente in your life, check out these photos I found of him. (Yes, I have some time on my hands, but golly this was FUN!) Again, this is just a tiiiiiiny sprinkling of the number of Vicente pictures out there.