Harry Potter ain't got nothing on the Wizz-zards of Guatemala

Having no toilet seat is pretty common.
This is when those "hovering" skills
really come handy. And believe it or not,
this was the ladies room in a decent
 restaurant -- not some little dive in the
market! I'm usually just happy when
 bathrooms have toilet paper. And if
they have SOAP, too? Well, that's
like winning the Potty Lottery!

Hello again... It's me.

I've said it before and I'll say it again -- MEN HAVE IT SOOO EASY. Especially when it comes to making their bladders gladder. The line for the men's room is never long. They can sit. They can stand. They can even wee with a drink in their hand. (I do not like green eggs and ham, I do not like them Sam I Am.) They can even write their names in the snow. Women aren't so lucky. (Plus, my name is long and I think I'd have trouble dotting the "i.") We gals have to squat, lean or hover when the time comes. Ooooh, the misery!

But this story is more about Guatemalan men and the extraordinary powers they have when it comes to peeing.

Let me 'splain.

Guatemalan men think they become invisible when they pee in public.

Yep. They believe as long as they have something to AIM at (a light post, a wall, a tire, a rock, an ant hill) no one can see what they're doing.

Really guys? I mean, REALLY?

It's nassssty. I don't want to walk down the street and be surprised by a guy who is obviously NOT invisible wizzing away on a light post. Or by the side of a car. Or on a wall at the market.

So, here's a little advice for you Guate dudes from your good buddy, Jennifer: 

• THE LIGHT POST DOES NOT MAKE YOU INVISIBLE.
• WE CAN STILL SEE YOU.
• WE KNOW WHAT YOU ARE DOING.
• WE REEEEALLY DON'T LIKE IT. 

Plus, the men here must have hummingbird-sized bladders because not a day goes by when I don't see a man peeing away like his life depends on it. Oh, and they really aren't picky about what they're peeing on -- just last weekend we saw not one but TWO men wizzing on the wall of a church. A CHURCH? I mean, isn't that sacrilegious? I think so. Joel honked the horn as we drove past them -- I hope it scared them and they peed on their shoes. I have often yelled "HEY!" when I see a taxi driver who has pulled over on my street to pee on a wall. They usually finish quickly, looking embarrassed that their Powers Of Invisibility have failed them, and drive away without looking back. Grrrr. My street is NOT their toilet! Grrrr-grrr-grrrrr...

The happy face tortilla, my trademark

Anyway, there you have it. Watch your step when you walk on the sidewalks here. 

 

Oh, and here's a picture of something I did at lunch today. Anyone who has known me for any length of time will know that no tortilla is safe when I'm around.

Until we meet again, stay thirsty my friends!