GuateJenniMalaFer: Beaches, beer, and bootie sand...

"This beach brought to you by Gallo Beer..."

Hello again!

Our cute $12.50/night hotel. Nice, eh?

A few weekends ago, Joel was blessed with TWO DAYS OFF IN A ROW. WOW! Rather than sticking around here we decided to go crazy and take a mini road trip. We drove about an hour away to a town called Puerto San Jose. I needed sand between my toes and this was the closest place to Antigua. It's a small, grungy beach town where a lot of people from Guatemala City go for the weekend. We planned on saving money by camping in the car but every time we mentioned our idea to someone, they looked at us like, "Do you WANT to be murdered in your sleep?" (Guatemala is not the safest place to car camp, evidently.) We were also told over and over to NOT walk on the beach at night. The only people who told us "oh yes, yes it's fine to walk on the beach at night" was a group of shady guys who ran a quad rental business.

Me and the beach dogs at sunrise

Luckily, Joel The Master Negotiator, spoke to a nice man at a small hotel and got him to lower the price from $50 to $12.50 per night. YES! So we stayed one night in a little cabana. The hotel had a pool and it was sooo niiice swimming there at night, where the only thing we needed to fear was chlorine in our eyes.

The next morning we got up WAAAY early, due to the chirping of unidentified insects living in the thatched roof and small creatures crawling up the wall outside. Eeeek! How can you sleep with crawly things like that so close to your head?

We got up and walked on the beach. At that time of morning, it was just us, the friendly beach dogs (similar to Antigua's street dogs, but these guys have sand in their paws) and the litter cleaning crew. Unfortunately, our phone was taken from our beach bag by a cleaning guy or a beach dog. (My money is on the cleaning crew -- I mean, how many dogs do YOU know that can dial a cell phone?) Aaaanyway, other than that minor mishap it was a great trip. We drank some Gallos, ate seafood, walked on the beach, swung in hammocks, swam in the pool and in the Pacific ocean.

Joel and the giant driftwood

OH! Something you should know about the beaches here. First, they have black sand. And yes, it gets very very very hot in the sun when you're not wearing shoes. Second, and perhaps most importantly, the waves will kill you. Noooo kidding! I'm not saying they'll knock you unconscious, but the undertow will pull you down, swish you around, and by the time you surface you will be in China. Many many MANY times while Joel and I were out splashing around, I got pummeled by waves and ended up on my butt, being rolled over by waves that were doing their best to suck me out to sea. Luckily, Joel knew death was imminent and grabbed me under my arms and pulled me up to the surface. (Thank you, Joel.) Not only is being dragged underwater along the sand an excellent way to drown, it's also a great exfoliator. And what's more fun than reaching into your bikini bottom and scooping handfuls of sand out of your bootie -- in public??? Nothing, that's what! Yeaaaah. Parts of me were exfoliated that really didn't WANT to be exfoliated.

Ay-yi-yiiiiii... Always an adventure!

Stay thirsty, my friends!