G-U-A-T-E-M-A-L-A

In case you are planning a trip, here a few details to keep in mind. 

G = Green. Everything is green. From the crazy prehistoric-looking trees, to the bushes, the vines, the grass, the coffee plants, the flowers... It's all green from all of the rain. Rumor has it, it ain't easy being green, but with this much rain, it's hard not to be green.

U = Umbrella. Bring one. Or two, just to be safe. It rains here. A LOT. And while you're at it, bring some rain boots, too. I love mine. They make me fearless.

A = Agua. Water. Unless you have a really good book and want to spend lots of time sitting on the toilet reading, DO NOT drink the water that comes out of the faucet. The funny thing is it's the same water you use to shower, wash your dishes and brush your teeth... Just don't DRINK it. All drinking water must be bottled or boiled.

T = Toilets. Speaking of being in the bathroom... Yes, the toilets flush the same as in the US, but the plumbing systems are old and horrible... Soooooo, you can't toss your toilet paper in there. There will always be a trash can, box, or other receptacle next to the toilet for you to throw it away. Don't think too hard about this. Just do it. And don't look. EVER.

E = Earthquakes and Eruptions. I've experienced both. Earthquakes are really exciting -- the ground shakes, the windows rattle, and everything sways. It. Is. So. Cooool! Pacaya Volcano, which we've climbed twice, erupted and is due to erupt again, according to the experts. Again, cooool!

M = Market. Going to the market is a whole new experience. It's like a game -- work your way through the maze of vendors selling everything from fruits and veggies to underwear to candles to raw meat to used blenders. You can find produce here that you can't pronounce or recognize. Things get more exciting due to the mud, pickpockets, and stray dogs running about. Anyone who comes out alive with their purchases/wallet intact WINS!

A = Automobiles. Oooh boy. People will drive anything that runs. Even if it doesn't have tail lights, brake lights, head lights, windows, a bumper and/or is being held together with duct tape and/or twine. And OMG -- they do not use car seats here for children. The mothers hold them in their laps. Seeing this makes me want to throw up with anxiety.

L = Language. DAAAAAMN, why did I take German in high school? Sprechen Sie Deutsch does me no good here. I highly recommend taking some classes before visiting. The people here will be patient even if you talk like a two-year-old -- they just appreciate the fact that you're trying. Or even better, if you have some time and money, take classes HERE. There are a ton of Spanish schools for you to choose from.

A = Alcohol. I'm not talking about beer or wine or margaritas. There are some die-hard alcoholics here and they drink ALCOHOL -- the kind you buy in the drug store to clean wounds. Yes, straight out of the bottle. Can you say naaaaasty? And after they get a good buzz, they fall asleep wherever they are -- on the sidewalk, in the market, in a park... I've been really tempted to start taking a series of pictures called "Too Drunk to Stand." My original inspiration came when I saw a man walking his bike down the road. He was too drunk to ride it but smiled and waved happily as we drove past him.

Ok, it's actually quite an adventure being here. I'm just pointing out some of the quirkier things about living in Guatemala. And really -- I'm not kidding about the cars! I can't believe some of them are still running! It's too bad there's no "C" in Guatemala -- I'd love to comment on the Chicken Busses!